Anatta and True Self

Pointers for awakening

As our insight into Anatta expands, we realize that the individual, egoic self is necessary for coordination, functionality, and productivity in relationship, community, and society as a complex social primate.

"True self" or our true nature must be contained within and structured by egoic identities, social roles, and organizational belongings. This is a fundamental to the existence, evolution, and phenomenology of the human species.

Understanding and acceptance of this is the beginning of awakening.

So what is "true self" or our "true nature"?

First of all, we must understand that I am currently using words and language. Words and language are fundamentally social constructs, encapsulated agreements of meaning and concept. Words, language, and narrative are, by definition, defining, functional, purposeful. They shape how we think and how we are thought by the larger social forces.

So, no language can capture the "true self" or our true nature.

This is why it is said, "The Dao that can be spoken is not the eternal Dao."

"The name that can be named is not the eternal name."

Nevertheless, like countless others before me, I will repeat the words that point the Way:

On the surface we are individual islands, separate from each other, with gates and moats and harbors.

Under the surface, we are connected, first to those closest to us in time and space, and from those connections to others further out and deeper down.

In our meaningful connections, agreements, traditions, and belongings spanning space and time, we are parts of gods, egregore, or spirits. We shape them and they shape us in emergent fashion. If you think I am being mystical and esoteric, I will just mention a few of these very real organizational forces that humans need, form, and uphold in order to exist as we do: we could name our nation, or the name of the manufacturer of the car that we drive, or the name of the employer that compensates us for the work we do. You cannot put your finger on any of these things, and yet they are real, and we reify them because they serve, help, and provide for us in very real ways. This is fundamental human social phenomenology.

But perhaps we should also speak of where it becomes existential.

And the whole reason I sat down to write this was to speak about vows, about commitments, about these things being anchors of "self" amidst a sea or ocean of relational humanity which we necessarily navigate day by day. Without vow or commitment, we are indeed like a wave on the sea, as James said, driven with the wind and tossed. Even with vow and commitment, we will still be buffeted and tossed, but we will have anchor. This is existential. Socio-existential.

Some people have made Jesus Christ their anchor. Some people anchor themselves in God, or Buddha, or Vishnu. Each of these is as real as Toyota, or Argentina, or Lululemon. They anchor us in large and small ways to principles of social conduct, behavior patterns, life meaning, and purpose. These are powerful and effectual entities that shape and direct our lives; and as humans, we need form, structure, and direction.

But if we keep observing past the layer of oceanic Self, big Mind, Gods, god-forms, and organizational spirits; there is something deeper: Nothingness. A vast boundless expanse of emptiness. This is where language cannot go. This is a space beyond all word and concept. But it can be experienced through meditation and mind training. With practice and training, we can progress further along the path of awakening or enlightenment, and establish more presence, foundation, and grounding in the emptiness and groundlessness. There is no story here. There is only space. There is no right or wrong, there are just things as they are. There is no time, no past or future, only now. There is no self, only space for the world.

We are relational beings, not just to each other socially and existentially, but also physically and biologically with our environment, our planet. One basic example is the atmosphere: were it not for both the oxygen in the air and the 15 pounds of pressure per square inch across our bodies, we would have no form nor life. The boundary between what is "me" and what is "not me" could not exist without an equilibrium of pressure across a membrane. It is in this balanced tension or pressure that life exists on this planet.

A commitment or a vow also establishes and provides tension. That which binds both secures and restricts. There is no life in absolute freedom, in boundless space. We can access this spaciousness, but life needs form for function. Some part of life does not like being contained or constrained, but without boundary and constraint, it could not live. The ongoing primal urge to reconcile the irreconcilable - to relieve tension and pressure that is uncomfortable or painful - is fundamental to life on Earth.

This leads to a discussion of dukkha…